Do You Like Me?

By Katherine Vessenes, JD, CFP®, RFC

The first stage of any successful sales process, including the No-Sell Sale™, begins with “like me/trust me.” Few will use your services, especially financial services, if they don’t trust you. It’s much easier to trust a person you like.

Here are four steps to improve your likeability factor and build trust with new prospects and clients.

First impressions

Yes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Although most financial advisors dress the part, many have not considered the importance of their body language. Many experts believe over 50% of all communication is conveyed from your face and body language.

It is imperative to communicate to prospects that you are approachable, warm, friendly, confident, and trustworthy. I recently watched a vendor try to promote his services to one of the country’s premier financial advisory firms. Most of the firm’s top guys were pulling down $2 to $4 million dollars a year… and it showed. Everything about their clothes and mannerisms screamed, “We are at the top of our game.” Their closing ratio was over 90%.

Contrast that with the vendor. He walked in with bad posture, a weak handshake, and clothes that were significantly more casual than the successful advisors. He was constantly fidgeting with his hands. He had a nervous laugh and desperate look about him. The result: most of the communication during the meeting was directed at me. He was largely ignored which was a shame, because he had a lot to offer.

Things you can do to make a better first impression:

• Watch your eye contact. Don’t wander, look your clients right in the eye.
• Use a strong, thumb to thumb, handshake. Weak handshakes are a major turn-off.
• Smile. It takes years off your face and builds rapport.
• Ask questions that show you’re genuine interest in your prospect.
• Mirror your prospects body language. If they lean forward, you lean forward. If rest their hands on the table, so should you.
  

Be empathetic

Have you ever wondered how Oprah Winfrey or Larry King can get a person to expose their deepest feelings on national TV? Both check their own egos and focus the attention on their guest. Unlike other interviewers, they avoid making the guest feel uncomfortable or judged. It amazes me how much information total strangers will release to the world about their lives.

For this reason, I make a constant effort to display genuine interest in what the other person is saying and offer no judgment for their behavior. I attempt to convey a feeling of affirmation and unconditional acceptance. I want them to recognize that I empathize and understand them, and appreciate their problems.

Be humble

One of the most powerful statements I have heard from numerous multimillion dollar advisors around the country goes something like this: “It is easy to stump me; I’m just a poor farm boy from Iowa. But I know where to go to get the answer for you.” This comment tells the listener while you don’t know it all; you do know where to go to get them help. The end result is they appear approachable, modest, and self-effacing.

Contrast that with another advisor I know that berates his prospects in the first interview. I have heard him say, “You have done a terrible job managing your money. I would give you a D on this portfolio!” Another advisor said, “We don’t work with anyone unless they have at least one million dollars to invest.” While this may be true, it makes him seem arrogant and unapproachable.

Send a good bio in advance of the first meeting

A one page bio about you and your background is an important step in improving your likeability factor. Send it out prior to the first meeting so your prospects can get to know and start to trust you. Take the time to write it well or get some help. It should obviously include your professional background, but also personal information as well. For example, mine reads: “Katherine has three grown children and likes to search for antique Japanese wood block prints. She loves to cross country ski and take her two Springer spaniels pheasant hunting.”

Your photo is also an important part of the building trust through the bio. You should be smiling and looking directly into the camera lens. In photos which the subject is looking away, that subject tends to look shifty and untrustworthy. Shift and untrustworthy are the last impressions you want your photo to convey.

These four steps will help build and improve your likeability factor. Hopefully, you can receive the same reaction I did when working with a group of investors. At the end of the first meeting, I would ask if they had any questions about me or my background. The overwhelming response was “No, we know everything we need to know about you.” At that point you’ve improved your likeability factor and built trust with new prospects and clients.